Do’s for Foreigners Dating in India
It helped tremendously with my expectations. I still had a few other shocking experiences though. While spending a weekend in Dubai I met a nice guy from India and spent most of the weekend with him. A few days later he left a marriage proposal on my voicemail! Here are some helpful things to keep in mind. Beth and her boyfriend, Kirti, living it up at the Grub Fest in Delhi. I am lucky to have beaten the odds and to have found a great boyfriend in India, but it did take some effort. I hope you will step outside your comfort zone. You never know where you might find love.
Beth Bauer is an author, freelance writer and entrepreneur working as an expat in India, and is soon going rogue. Follow her adventures at www. Though i am not in India now.
I think many of the points are true. Especially guys presuming foreign women would expect sex on first date. It is unfortunate you got to meet the weird variety of men from my country. The problem is, particularly in cities like Delhi, it is rare to find someone who is serious. Trust me on this, I find it hard to understand Delhi girls despite being from here though I have lived outside of my native place most of my life.
Too bad you had such a terrible experience. Well written guidelines, but in India, parents irrespective of having a son or a daughter, do worry about their kids even when adults. There was some hypocrisy in the previous generations about the girl not getting to take care of her parents in cases where the daughter was the only child of parents , many young Indian men of this generation are becoming more and more open to care for their in-laws after seeing their own parents struggle. Having the presence of elders at home from either or both sides is seen as a matter of respect, especially when you have young kids at home.
They often teach things to kids which help them mature and become more stable than working couples leaving their kids alone due to hectic careers, thus leaving them vulnerable to false peer pressures and wrong habits. Toss in how the Kardashians dress and some from different cultures get mixed — on in their minds, clear — signals, and just go for it. Being polite, not being offended by their misunderstanding and dissolving any confusion by stating your intentions can definitely help set things straight.
But a bit of compromise is good in any relationship I guess…. I agree with the stereotypes and it is super conservative in Udaipur, where I live so it is good to be cautious. I am in a relationship with a non-India. I have an Indian friend and he is one of the nicest guys on the planet. He knows he has no shot as he is also friends with my partner, but when I returned from a visit to the States, he brought me flowers.
He has also escorted another friend of ours all the way to Delhi by train with no expectations of getting lucky. I think he is a rare bird on the planet, not just in India. I agree with Beth, be safe, know some of the cultural differences and if you want to date in India, have fun! Nice to see your take on it Betsy. The only issues I ever dealt with is when I used to do massage people would ask me on dates after? It was just so inappropriate and happened a lot. I nearly died when I read the part about the marriage proposal via voicemail!
Never experienced this myself although when I started dating my Malayali boyfriend I remember being a bit flabbergasted at how quickly he wanted to put a label on our relationship. Thanks for writing this post, I think if more white women knew what to except and understood Indian culture better they might give more of these guys a chance.
They might even find the love of their lives: I agree to a lot of things that you say here. Your experiences are also pretty interesting especially about the guy who assumed sex on first date seeing some sitcoms which is a very clueless 90s thing to do. I agree that that Indian men need a bit more maturity when it comes to dating as the concept of romance is still culturally a bit different from an Indian point of view and there are biases.
Comments and thoughts on it are definitely helpful for women traveling and dating in India. It is well written and I believe the people you have met are of mentality you have described. But it is not true for general males of India. Most of us know basics of dates and do not follow the trends of TV shows like Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives you have mentioned.
Most of the foreigner in Goa, Kasol, Rishikesh meet guys who are either drivers, hotel managers, yoga teachers or agents or friends of them who are not well educated to understand feelings of a girl and basics of a relationship.
I would propose to get along with teenagers of your age like college students, corporate guy because most of these youngsters are known to the facts like Dressing modestly, pulling out a three pack of condoms on the first date. Yes, I do agree that most of boys in India do live with their parents before marriage and usually their wife also get along in the same house. But it is because India does not have the fashion of separate house completely. But It is now changing since most of them are working in Delhi, Bangalore, Chennai and they buy their own house with the same logic.
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I have so many best friends in Goa who are Indian men. It would be false to hide the other side of what happens here. Instead of being annoyed that other Indian men do this and worrying it makes you look bad, realize that this IS happening, and people are traveling India dealing with this and try to do positive things to balance this out or help stop these things when you see them happening.
It makes me feel ashamed, but this is really a problem. Indian men to then to think that foreign caucasian girls are easy of course not everyone is like that.
Eastern girls and western boys
There are a lot of factors to that. Cultural difference, media, porn, etc. There would be many cultural differences that both the parties will need to get used to and understand. Not many Indian guys will date any girl for like years before getting married. The concept of dating is not that prevalent over here.
So expect a marriage proposal sometime within 6 months to a year, if the guy is serious about you and sees a future together with you. I just cant believe miss jones, to be in goa you left your nursing career? I Feel really ashamed as an Indian to read such a shameless act committed by my own countryman. Anyway, hope that no one else encounter such incidents in the future…. The choice ranges from looking for love online to matrimonial matchmakers - people within the community who bring suitable matches together, whether it's through family or through organised events.
Another option is the traditional parental route, where parents introduce their son or daughter to a prospective match with family present. It can be successful and some do meet the man or woman of their dreams in their mother's living room over a nice cup of tea.
However, a parent's idea of a suitable boy or girl can of course be very different to what their offspring has in mind. We went on to organise events in bars and restaurants in other cities including Birmingham and Manchester. In Asian culture, skin-shade snobbery is rife, with the general consensus the browner you are, the less desirable. One website offers a drop-down menu of skin shades. Despite the many challenges, including shade-ism, that British Asian women face, many find suitable partners and enjoy happy marriages. As we're still in the first generation of well-educated, career-minded Asian women who have delayed marriage, drawing any conclusions about what will happen to those who don't is difficult.
The male host asked: It's more acceptable for men to 'marry out' "We've started to notice a few more Asian women marrying outside of their own cultures," says Sat Bhatti, partner in wedding planning company OccAsianZ. Outside of London, for example, a mixed marriage is still a big deal.
Surprisingly, it was a first generation British Asian mother who recently offered some Bridget Jones-like idealistic insight that got straight to the heart of the matter. Below is a selection of your comments.
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