I split up with my ex a year ago and quickly started dating. I met someone nice, but within weeks I discovered that my ex and my best friend had started a relationship. When I found out, I felt a rage I had never experienced. There are rare instances when people establish a real friendship afterwards, but that requires a suitable cooling-off time first.
The real betrayal is that of your best friend. Honesty and trust are the foundations of friendship and she has effectively trashed both. The chances of maintaining a friendship with her is unlikely, particularly if she is still dating your ex.
Ask Molly Ringwald: my best friend is dating my ex – I can’t forgive them
How could they do this to me?! I hated them and everyone else who I thought could possibly know about their relationship. I felt like a victim of deceit. I thought about them giggling and laughing and kissing and being blissfully happy. The relationship lasted for about 6 months I think and years later, I've come to realize how silly and stupid I was for having the reaction I did. I think, "My ex is dating my friend" is very common, especially if you live in the suburbs, where everyone knows everyone.
If you find yourself in this situation, here are some tips on how to handle it and how to keep from going insane:. What they are doing is really uncool and unacceptable.
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YOU have done nothing to warrant their behavior. Their relationship is working because of the "scandalous and forbidden" element. That's half the fun for them. When that wears off, and everyone in the community moves on to the next piece of gossip, and your ex and your friend really get to know each other, the appeal will fade. He or she could be doing this to you to act out his or her passive aggressive anger.
Dating Your Friend's Ex
How sick is that? Don't even put yourself into that venom. Remove yourself from it and rise above. Grit your teeth, accept it, act classy and show grace to the outside world.
So your friend just started dating your ex. Here's how to deal - HelloGiggles
I remember people in my neighborhood would tell me they saw them out and I would seriously cringe, and then go home and cry. The people weren't trying to be cruel, by the way. Make sure not to react in front of others because it could get back to your ex and your friend I mean, your ex friend. Plus, when the relationship ends, the only thing people will remember is how you reacted. DO NOT make a scene and get into a girl fight with the girl. It's unproductive, psychotic and immature. You don't' have to be overly friendly to your ex and your friend.
Can you talk it out and remain friends, or do you have to endure a romantic breakup AND friendship breakup at once? No matter what, you need to try and have a discussion with your friend. Alternatively, maybe this is a friendship that you need to let go of.
Tell her how it makes you feel. You deserve to be heard, but so does she.
Whether you decide to stay connected to your friend or cut them loose, distance is the only thing that will help make you feel better. If you want to stay friends, take a temporary but hard break. That means no Facebook stalking, no texting, and no Twitter creeping. Chances are, things are going to get awkward with your mutual friends.
You need time to be upset. While a good chunk of my friends were supportive and there for me, my other friends were eager for me to get over it.
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Allow yourself the time to be upset and grieve.